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A collection of jokes ...

 jokes
There are currently 310 jokes (some good, some bad)
Column Notes:
  1. Describes the general subject of the joke
  2. An X notifies you that some may consider this an off-color joke.
  3. The numeric value (1,2,3,4, or 5) measures the joke's offensiveness: 1 means not offensive and 5 means extremely offensive (at least for some people).
Subjects: Academic|| argument|| battle|| Blondes|| brain teasers|| death|| drunks|| elderly|| Ethnic|| Family|| faqs|| Gender|| goofy subjects|| irs|| law|| Law_Doc|| military|| musicians|| personalities|| philosophy|| Politics|| puns|| Religion|| rural|| Salesmen|| Sports|| technology|| work

Academic

1.   0 An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gate
2.   0 A party of economists was climbing in the Alps .
3.   0 A student is asked a question in a physics degree
4.   0 A Short Quiz
5.   0 Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train.
6.   0 Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd with a huge flock of sheep
7.   0 When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders
8.   0 Five doctors went duck hunting one day
9.   0 One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather
10.   0 An Angel appears at a faculty meeting and ...
11.   0 The bassists take a break to grab a few drinks
12.   0 A man in a balloon asks where he is
13.   1 the charity had never received a contribution from the town's most successful lawyer
14.   0 There is no such thing as a stupid question
15.   1 Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body
16.   0 How To Write a Term Paper, Article or Book.
17.   0 Realistic definitions of some common academic
18. X 1 When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights,
19.   0 The wife of a federal district court judge bought him a tie
20.   1 waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers ...
21.   0 Several short engineer jokes
22. X 1 No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
23.   0 Three academics find a bottle containing a genie
24.   0 The engineer said to his friend

argument

25.   0 Monty Python Argument Skettch

battle

26.   2 An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall

Blondes

27.   1 A broke Blonde decides to raise money by kidnapping a kid and
28.   1 A blonde gets a job painting road lines
29.   1 A blonde's first task was to go out for coffee
30.   1 I got a call saying that my mother had passed away
31.   1 The blonde reported for her University final examinat
32.   0 A man was driving along the highway and hit a rabbit
33.   1 30 short blonde jokes
34.   1 A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handywomen
35.   1 The three women stranded on a desert island find a magic lamp
36.   1 The new blonde stewardess
37.   1 Three blondes die and go to heaven, where St. Peter asks...
38.   0 A lawyer pesters the blonde sitting next to him on long plane ride
39.   1 A guy in a bar asks if she wants to hear a blonde joke
40.   1 A blonde gal, walked into the doctors office with a hole in her hand
41.   1 Several blonde jokes
42.   1 A blone prays for help

brain teasers

43.   0 An intelligence test
44.   0 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip

death

45.   1 A woman makes arrangements for her husband's funeral
46.   0 The funeral of the hokey-pokey song writer

drunks

47.   0 A man is in bed asleep when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door

elderly

48.   1 The old wife asks her husband to get her some ice cream
49.   1 He wanted one last cookie before he died
50.   1 The little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds tha
51.   1 A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out
52.   1 Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are to marry

Ethnic

53.   1 Are you a redneck
54. X 1 Lena and Sven planned to honeymoon in Duluth
55.   1 Several short Jewish jokes
56. X 1 elderly French man spots a young couple making love
57.   1 A Jewish boy tells his mother he has a part in the school play
58.   1 a team of terrorists invades the shul and take 3 hostages
59.   1 the man claimed that the elephant could tell a person's age
60.   1 Thet Jewish President calls his mother in Queen and invites her for Purim
61.   0 101 Ways to know if you are from Bston
62. X 1 Jewish man was in an accident, and the doctor said
63.   2 A Guy goes into the store and for some Polish Sausage
64. X 2 John O'Reilly won top prize at the pub for a toast
65.   1 Two guys immigrate to America
66.   1 king relied so much on the wisdom of his Jewish advisor, that he elevated him to head advisor
67. X 2 Anna, their one and only Chimpanzee, was looking quite down
68.   1 Russian military academy talk on future wars
69.   1 we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico
70.   1 Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker
71.   1 A Jewish man calls his mother and says he has a Native American girl friend
72. X 1 the irish ditch diggers work working across from a house of ill repute
73.   1 All we ever seem to hear is Jewish jokes, so here are some gentile jokes
74.   1 A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent Yiddish asks if everything is okay
75.   1 Three men see a painting of Adam and Eve
76.   1 A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker
77. X 1 This is the story of a famous French aviator
78.   3 A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident
79.   1 A texan walks into an Irish pub ...
80. X 1 A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine
81.   1 A Redneck stops by his friend's house whose wife has recently had a baby
82.   1 Two Aussies, Bruce and Johnno, were adrift in a lifeboat
83.   0 A pirate was talking to a "land-lubber" in a bar
84.   1 A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals
85.   1 There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting on a train
86.   1 Looking on the Bright Side
87.   0 Driving styles from around the nation and the world
88. X 1 A young Catholic man confesses sin
89. X 2 blonde_pole.txt
90.   0 THE CREATION OF NORTH DAKOTA
91.   1 An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints
92. X 2 After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough
93. X 2 3 hillbillies are discussing their dumb wifes
94.   0 A score of Jewish Haiku
95.   3 A native american from a nearby reservation goes to a Whore hous
96.   1 The Irishman looked down the bar and said "is that Jesus down there"
97. X 2 3 men die and go to heaver, but are given another chance
98.   0 Factoids about boston and bostonians
99.   1 3 gents order beers, each of which has a fly in it
100.   1 A swiss asks 2 englishmen for directions
101.   0 A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, and a passing car hit i
102.   2 An Alabama child in 3rd grade
103.   1 I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.
104.   2 An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar in Miami

Family

105. X 1 A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey
106.   0 Are you feeling old
107.   0 35 Family Fun Facts, plus a few dozen more
108. X 1 Three mice are at a bar, having drinks, talking about how tough they are
109.   0 A dozen or so snowmen cartoons from Calvin and Hobbes
110.   0 A vet tells a man his dog is dead, but he wants a 2nd opinion
111.   0 Some tips on pregnancy
112.   1 30 new children's books
113.   1 Two kids were waiting in a hospital
114. X 0 A wild rabbit got caught and was taken to a laboratory
115.   1 Little Tommy was doing very badly in math

faqs

116.   0 34 THINGS WE SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T

Gender

117. X 0 The man sees the sign that reads SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 Miles
118. X 1 The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man
119.   0 Last summer, when the power mower was broken
120. X 1 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent,
121. X 2 A hippie sitting on a city bus notices an attractive young nun sitting
122. X 1 "If you must know," he coolly replied, "that was my mistress."
123. X 0 Two old ladies were sitting on the porch at the old folks home
124. X 0 a man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to seek counseling
125. X 1 A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothel
126. X 1 A man takes his wife to the stock show
127. X 1 the male whale sees the whaling ship that killed his father
128.   0 A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous
129. X 1 moods of a woman, moods of a man
130. X 1 the Devil says things are not as bleak as you imagine
131.   0 The wife asks her husband: "Honey, if I died, would you remarry
132. X 1 Two very elderly friends, Max and Wally, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons,
133.   2 Women safe parking at Minneaplois mall, with picture
134. X 2 A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck
135. X 0 The wife asked the husband to go to the beach to gather some snails
136. X 0 A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money
137. X 1 An old farmer goes to the pond, where women are skinny dipping
138.   1 God replies: I am disappointed. I grant you one wish and you think crass materialistic possesions
139. X 0 There were three gentlemen waiting at the pearly gates
140. X 1 Guys asks where he can get scrod
141. X 1 A man boards an airplane, and sits next to a beautiful woman
142. X 0 A hooker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup
143. X 0 "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KKK
144. X 0 Joe took his blind date to the carnival
145. X 1 A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday
146.   0 An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation, and gets shipwrecked
147. X 0 Superman tells Spiderman "Man I'm so horny I could die!"
148. X 0 A guy is having marital problems, and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store
149. X 1 Father, I have these two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing
150. X 1 "Your cat's legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to grab hold
151. X 0 As Joe aged, he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches
152. X 1 After wild sex with a Geisha girl, Joe noticed a very weird green, festering sore
153. X 1 Some Pickup lines
154. X 0 As a painless way to save money,
155.   0 One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river
156. X 0 A man was walking one day, when he notice a couple making love
157. X 1 Nothing much Pastor, we were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex lifes
158. X 1 The farmers decided to get their pigs together to breed the next litters
159. X 1 Pinnochio's girlfriend says " Every time we make love I get splinters
160. X 1 One morning 2 priests head to the showers but forget to bring soap
161. X 1 the shepherds are headed up to the high country for summer pasture
162. X 0 By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken
163. X 0 one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring
164.   1 alwell thinks that the Teletubbies are advocating homosexuality
165. X 2 Would you sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000 ...
166.   3 A hard drinking woman has a tough pregnancy ...
167. X 1 A woman is in bed with her lover who is her husband's best friend
168.   0 an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring
169. X 0 A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes ...
170. X 1 An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooste
171. X 1 A man is walking around New York with his wife
172. X 0 A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island
173. X 1 he noticed a small ad which read "Lose weight $1.00 a pound"
174. X 1 A man goes to the doctor because of his 50 inch long
175.   1 a brave seafarer who showed no fear
176. X 1 While her husband fished, she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading
177.   1 Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
178.   0 Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
179.   0 Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma
180.   1 33 REASONS WHY MEN ARE (JUSTIFIABLY) PROUD OF THEMSELVES!
181. X 0 husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf
182. X 1 A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party
183.   0 A woman noticed a most unusual funeral procession
184. X 1 A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa
185.   0 Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me
186.   0 we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story

goofy subjects

187.   0 A goofy test

irs

188.   0 The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around

law

189.   0 During a big DUI dragnet, a highway patrolman waited outside a popular bar

Law_Doc

190.   1 Some short lawyer jokes
191.   1 a lawyer, died and appeared before the Pearly Gates
192.   0 The prosecutor in a small town called a grandmotherly woman as a witness
193.   1 The lawyer on vaction said "'m here because my house burned down,"
194. X 1 The general was confined to the military hospital for a minor malady
195.   0 Q & A about HMOS
196.   1 a man accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers
197.   0 A defendant was on trial for murder, and lawyer resorted to a trick
198.   1 The tourist buys a life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat
199.   0 Three doctors stand before the Pearly Gate
200.   0 Two carrots were walking down the road

military

201.   0 Irish radio conversation with British navy

musicians

202.   0 A Bass, a Baritone and a Tenor doing construction work were eating lunch

personalities

203.   1 he Di Joke Compendium
204.   0 Why the chicken crossed the road, according to numerous famous people

philosophy

205.   0 Some deep thoughts
206.   0 THE WISDOM OF WILL ROGERS
207.   0 Some inspirational slogans
208.   0 Why did the chicken cross the road
209.   0 some natural laws
210.   0 Corrolary's to Murphy's Law

Politics

211.   1 Starr Wars!
212.   0 consider the 2000 elections from a 3rd world perspective
213.   0 Hot air balloonist, with political twist
214.   1 Map showing bush's world view
215.   1 The 2004 Elections ended in another tie
216.   0 Cows and Social Structure
217.   1 The pope witnesses a democrat being saved by loggers from a bear
218.   0 Five Surgeons are discussing who are the best patients to operate on.
219.   0 Ordering pizza in 2007. with all your info on line
220.   0 Bush vs. Monkees
221.   1 How conservatives argue -- a simulation
222.   1 Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld discuss ways to make people happy
223.   1 Dick Cheney playing poker
224. X 1 Clinton died and went to heaven
225. X 1 Tony Blair, Bill Clinton and the Pope are on a plane
226.   0 Bill and Hillary are making a trip to the country side
227.   0 The Pentagon is interested in an artificial intelligence general
228.   1 Some additional consitutional amendments to help define marriage
229. X 1 the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living ...
230. X 1 Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check
231. X 2 Clinton and the Pope die on the same day
232.   0 State Government Employee comes across an old brass lamp
233.   1 The Queen and the Pope are on the same stage
234.   0 One man would dig a hole, the other man would fill it in
235. X 1 Here's a little part of US history which makes you go hmmmmm.
236.   1 George Bush asks the queen about her leadership philosophy
237.   1 Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller
238.   0 , Mr and Mrs. Clinton. Welcome to EZBreeZee Mortgages

puns

239.   0 A guy who worked as a railrod conductor
240.   0 Two bees ran into each other
241.   0 A potpourri of puns
242.   0 A bunch of sayings

Religion

243. X 2 The priest caught a very large fish
244.   1 Every Friday the Catholics go CRAZY because the Jewish neighbor barbecues steaks
245.   1 The Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican.
246.   4 Jesus walks into an Inn
247.   1 There once were two evil brothers
248.   0 Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence'
249.   1 Applicability of biblical laws in modern times
250. X 2 Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate
251. X 1 The man asks the rabbi, "Is it true that men and women don't dance together?"
252.   1 After shul had concluded, the three rabbis were discussing
253.   1 A Catholic man, struck by a bus, cries out for a priest
254.   1 A FUNERAL SERVICE IS BEING HELD IN A SYNAGOGUE FOR A WOMAN
255.   1 Suddenly, Satan appears at the front of the church
256.   1 Several pakistan and china jokes
257. X 0 The pretty young schoolteacher was concerned about one of her 11 year old students
258.   1 Old wife dies while visiting holyland--- where to burry
259. X 2 A bunch of preachers are having a meeting in the rectory
260. X 2 A rabbi helps a priest at the confessional
261.   1 A priest, a rabbi, and a minister seek to convert a bear
262. X 1 ewish man goes to the doctor who tells him that he might have gonorhea
263.   1 My son tells me he has decided to be a christian
264. X 2 God tells Adam the good news and the bad news
265.   1 when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting
266.   1 Notre Dame is looking for a new bell ringer
267.   1 A drunk asks a priest what causes arthritis
268.   1 After watching sales falling off for three straight month at KFC, the colonel ...
269.   0 The pope flies into chicago for a major meeting of midwestern cardinals
270.   1 St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks
271.   0 A journalis in Jerusalem see an old man praying vigorously at the Western Wall
272.   0 there as a hunter confronted by a huge, mean bear
273.   0 Two little brothers had become the terrors of their neighborhood
274.   0
275. X 1 A preacher asked the hat check girl to come to his room
276.   1 St. Peter ask Jesus to take over for a few minutes
277.   0 A woman is in her comma, when the nurse notices
278.   1 A priest is driving and is pulled over for speeding
279. X 1 A golfer hits the ball into the trees, and notices a squirrel grab it and run

rural

280. X 1 Honey, the artificial insemination man is coming over
281.   0 A city slicker wants to raise some chickens
282.   1 a man spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field

Salesmen

283.   0 The new guy and the old-timer salesman were sitting in the dining car

Sports

284.   1 Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Brett Farve, and Tom Brady, go to heaven
285.   0 A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl
286.   1 Boston child seeks custody because he is beaten by parents
287.   1 Two kids are playing on the Boston common ...
288.   0 A guy walks into a bar with a cat wearing a Browns jersey
289. X 1 the women watches in horros as her golfball hits one of the men
290.   1 The man confesses to his priest that he used the "F-word" over the weekend.
291. X 2 3 baseball fans are on their way to a game, and notice a pair of legs ...
292.   0 As the Devil shakes the (ex)biker's hand, he asks ...

technology

293.   0 We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission
294.   0 A story from the help desk line
295.   0 The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches
296.   0 Beware of the latest viruses (circa 1996)
297.   0 COMPUTERS AND ELECTRONICS IN THE MOVIES
298.   0 Microsoft help vs Psychic Friends Network
299.   0 30 computer related one-liners
300.   0 etch_sketch.txt

work

301.   0 If you have to write a "letter of recommendation"
302.   0 occupation descriptions
303.   0 After the Japanese team won the canoe race by a mile, management ...
304.   0 Dilbert's newest additions to add to your vocabulary (circa 1999)
305.   0 man who was in a horrible accident lost both of his ears
306.   0 Four Habits of Highly effective people
307.   0 The corporate zodiac
308.   1 the 6-year old daughter, naturally took an interest in the construction activity going on next door
309.   0 Two young engineers applied for a single position
310.   0 A building contractor was being paid by the week