Jewish Haikus
Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.
*****
Beyond Valium,
peace is knowing one's child
is an internist.
*****
On Passover we
opened door for Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.
*****
After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?
*****
Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
of her friend's disease.
*****
Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.
*****
Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.
*****
The sparkling blue sea
reminds me to wait an hour
after my sandwich.
*****
Like a bonsai tree,
is your terrible posture
at my dinner table.
*****
Jews on safari --
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.
*****
The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.
*****
The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.
*****
Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.
*****
Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.
*****
Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.
*****
Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?
*****
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
*****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!
*****
Quietly murmured
at Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
*****
A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.
****
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness
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