Silly Computer One-liners
Please, clean your screen! I can't see out!
Troubleshooting: if it gives you any trouble, shoot it.
A confident manner is important; computers can sense this.
I'm entirely too busy to waste time choosing a tagline to use.
Quality-minded witches use spell checkers.
What do you mean you "formatted the cat"?!?!
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my drive?
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
SET PATH=Bookshelf;DeskDrawer;Closet;BoxUnderBed;GarbageCan
Real programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
You can tell a real programmer by the keyboard dents in his forehead.
"It compiled? The first screen came up? Ship it!" -- Bill Gates
I thought *everyone* knew Stones & Windows don't go together!
"We believe OS/2 is the platform for the 90's!" -- Bill Gates
Why isn't the word "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
If driving at the speed of light, what happens when turning on the headlights?
Boycott Microsoft -- http://www.vcnet.com/bms
God is real, unless He was declared integer.
I lost my head... I hope I've got a tape backup.
If God wanted men to use computers, he'd create them with I/O interfaces.
I'm the computer your Mom warned you against
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2
Life would be much simpler if we had the source code.
"Daddy, what does 'Formatting drive C:' mean?"
This e-mail was transmitted on 100% recycled material.
#define QUESTION ((to_be) || (!(to_be))) /* Shakespeare */
WOMAN.ZIP - Wonderful program, unfortunately there's no documentation...
Black holes appeared where God divided by zero.
TTuurrnn eecchhoo ooffff!!
Death is a non-maskable interrupt.
Consumer: primitive life form at the end of the food chain.
"Of course it's user friendly - if you know what you're doing!"
Computers are best accelerated by 9.8 m/sec^2
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