30 computer related one-liners   
                Silly Computer One-liners

   
  Please, clean your screen!  I can't see out!   
  Troubleshooting: if it gives you any trouble, shoot it.   
  A confident manner is important; computers can sense this.   
  I'm entirely too busy to waste time choosing a tagline to use.   
  Quality-minded witches use spell checkers.   
  What do you mean you "formatted the cat"?!?!   
  Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my drive?   
  I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.   
  SET PATH=Bookshelf;DeskDrawer;Closet;BoxUnderBed;GarbageCan   
  Real programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE   
  You can tell a real programmer by the keyboard dents in his forehead.   
  "It compiled?  The first screen came up?  Ship it!" -- Bill Gates   
  I thought *everyone* knew Stones & Windows don't go together!   
  "We believe OS/2 is the platform for the 90's!" -- Bill Gates   
  Why isn't the word "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?   
  If driving at the speed of light, what happens when turning on the headlights?   
  Boycott Microsoft --  http://www.vcnet.com/bms   
  God is real, unless He was declared integer.   
  I lost my head... I hope I've got a tape backup.   
  If God wanted men to use computers, he'd create them with I/O interfaces.   
  I'm the computer your Mom warned you against   
  2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2   
  Life would be much simpler if we had the source code.   
  "Daddy, what does 'Formatting drive C:' mean?"   
  This e-mail was transmitted on 100% recycled material.   
  #define QUESTION ((to_be) || (!(to_be))) /* Shakespeare */   
  WOMAN.ZIP - Wonderful program, unfortunately there's no documentation...   
  Black holes appeared where God divided by zero.   
  TTuurrnn eecchhoo ooffff!!   
  Death is a non-maskable interrupt.   
  Consumer: primitive life form at the end of the food chain.   
  "Of course it's user friendly - if you know what you're doing!"   
  Computers are best accelerated by 9.8 m/sec^2   


 
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