Taking a temperature
The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of
a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of
himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding
attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately.
He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were
too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be
adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with
his rest... and on, and on.
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your
temperature, General."
After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to
accept the thermometer.
"Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from
the other end."
A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was
insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for.
The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the
orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly
like that and don't move. I'll be back in five minutes to check up
on you" and withdrew.
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general
with his bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's going on here?"
"Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
the general barked.
"Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?"
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