Subject: The Di Joke Compendium
What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?
-- Tiger Woods has a better driver.
____
What is the difference between a Buick and a Mercedes?
-- Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Buick.
____
What was Diana wearing that night?
-- Crushed Velvet.
____
What did Dodi say to his security guard before they left the hotel?
-- Do you want to take a ride with me and Di(e)?
____
Why did Di go to Paris?
-- To get smashed!
____
What was Diana's last statement to the press?
-- "Leave me alone, I'm a bloody princess!"
____
What is Di's favorite music group?
-- The Crash Test Dummies
____
Why did Diana go and die?
-- She wanted to be the first to try on the Gianni Versace Summer '98
collection.
____
What's the one thing that attracted Diana more than the playboy son of a
wealthy Egyptian?
-- A brick wall
____
How did Diana stay so thin?
-- She went on a crash diet.
____
What's the difference between an NFL game and Diana?
-- The NFL players came out of the tunnel on Sunday.
____
Diana's last night out on the town was a smashing good time!
____
QUOTES:
"Those photographers drive me up the wall!"
Diana's funeral song: "Looking for love in all the wrong
places".
"Darn, I can't auction this dress now!"
When Diana said she would never talk to the British press again,
I did not know she was speaking the truth!
"Too bad O.J. wasn't driving!"
____
What is worse than being chased by paparazzi?
-- Being chauffeured by a French driver.
____
What's worse than being chauffeured by a French driver?
-- Being treated by a French doctor.
____
What did the French photographer say to Princess Diana as she was pulled
from the car wreck?
-- "What will you be wearing at the funeral?"
____
When Prince Charles was being told of Diana's death he was all ears.
|