Caught by cannibals
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by
cannibals.
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that
we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and
cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The
good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." the chief gives him a sword,
he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." the chief gives him
a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and
blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork." the chief is puzzled, but he
shrugs and gives him a fork. The new Yorker takes the fork and
starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest,
everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled, and asks, "my God almighty, what are you
doing?"
The New Yorker says, "so much for your canoe, you stupid fuck!"
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