alwell thinks that the Teletubbies are advocating homosexuality   
 Falwell thinks that the Teletubbies are advocating homosexuality
 
February 12, 1999

NOTE FROM CHRIS:  The Top5 contributors and I had a 
Valentine's Day topic all ready to go, and then what happens?  
Jerry Falwell goes and puts his foot in his homophobic mouth 
again.  The target this time?  None other than Tinky Winky, one
of the Teletubbies, whose purple suit and triangular antenna 
set off the good Reverend's gay-dar.  Is nothing sacred???

 Upon further investigation, Top5 learned that Reverend 
 Falwell has problems with a few other TV characters...


           The Top 13 Reasons Jerry Falwell Thinks 
              Your Favorite TV Character is Gay


13> Fonzie: has an "office" in the men's room and always tells
    guys to "sit on it."

12> If you're drunk enough, "Homer Simpson" sounds kinda like
    "homosexual."

11> Popeye:  Vegetarian.  Bodybuilder.  Dresses like one of the 
    Village People.  "Girlfriend" has no visible breasts.  You 
    connect the dots, Chester.

10> Batman & Robin: They caress a bust, which reveals a pole
    that they wrap themselves around and slide down which
    strips them of their clothes and puts them in rubber
    suits and... Okay, maybe Falwell's got something here.

 9> Alex Trebek: Lives with his mom and knows *way* too much
    about Broadway Musicals and potpourri.

 8> "Shhhh, be vewy vewy wightous! I'm hunting a naked
    opewa-wuving wabbit!"

 7> Will from "Will & Grace": Not because the character is
    openly gay, but because if he were straight, he'd go by
    "Bill" and smoke cigars.

 6> That Peter Jennings character on "ABC World News Tonight" 
    is thin, neat and obsessed with the sex life of a guy 
    named Bill.

 5> Fred Flintstone & Barney Rubble: Fur house dresses?  C'mon!

 4> Check the reruns closely: Woody lives up to his name
    whenever Norm walks into the bar.

 3> The letters in "The Teletubbies" can be rearranged to read,
    "He bites eel butt."

 2> "Dr. Quinn, Lesbian Woman"


         and Topfive.com's Number 1 Reason Jerry Falwell 
           Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay...


 1> David Hasselhoff: 147 episodes of "Baywatch" with nary an 
    erection.


 
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