The prosecutor in a small town called a grandmotherly woman as a witness   
        The First Witness

The prosecutor in a small town called
his first witness to the stand.  A
frail, grandmotherly woman sat down
and was sworn in.  He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you
Mr. Williams.  I've known you since you
were a young boy.  And frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me.  You lie,
you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you."

The prosecutor was stunned.  But, he had
enough presence of mind to point across
the room and ask: "Mrs. Williams, do you
know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why, yes I do.  I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment
to me.  He's lazy.  He's bigoted.  And he
has a drinking problem.  The man can't have
a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the shoddiest in
the entire state.  Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the
courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench.  In a very 
quiet but emphatic voice, he intoned:
"If either of you asks her if she knows
me you'll be in jail for contempt in less
time than it takes to tell about it!"


 
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