Clinton died and went to heaven   
                        Clinton goes to heaven

Clinton  died  and  went  to  heaven. He knocked at the Pearly Gates and St
Peter appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired St Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton"
"And what do you want?" asked St Peter.
"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.
"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton  thought  a  bit  and  answered,  "Well, I smoked marijuana but you
shouldn't  hold  that  against  me  because  I didn't inhale. I guess I had
extramarital  sex,  but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't
really have 'sexual relations.' And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury."

After  several  moments  of  deliberation St Peter replied, "OK, here's the
deal.  We'll  send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it
'Hell'. You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call
it  'eternity'. And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold
your breath waiting for it to freeze over."

Part II
"On  second  thoughts", said St Peter, "you weren't all bad. so we will let
you  choose  your own kind of hell." He takes Clinton to the first room, in
which  Newt Gingrich is chained to the wall, and demons are poking him with
hot iron bars and hitting him all over his body.

"I  don't  want that!" screams Clinton in terror. so, St Peter takes him to
the  second  room,  in  which ex-senator D'Amato is given a bath in boiling
oil.

"Oy  Vey,"  says  Clinton.  St Peter takes him to yet another room. here he
sees Ken Starr getting a blow job from Monica Lewinsky. "Well", he says, "I
can  live  with that". "OK Monica", says St Peter. "You can go. We've got a
replacement!"

 
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