The meaning of pain...
There once was this guy who worked for the Railroad as a conductor.
Let's say his name was Joe. Well, Joe was walking through the train,
enroute, collecting tickets from the passengers. He comes to car 12,
booth 3. In it is this beautiful woman. She had curves in all the
right places, her skin was just tan enough to give a healthy look..
well, you know what I mean.
So, he asked her for her ticket: "Excuse me ma'ma, do have your
ticket?"
"Oh, I am soooo sorry, I dropped it out the window by accident," she
replied.
"Sorry, ma'am can't have any passengers without tickets." He grabbed
her by the scruff of the neck and THREW her out of the train. Well,
she landed on the tracks, was run over by the train. Naturally, the
conductor was arrested, thrown in jail. He was convicted of murder
before a jury of his peers, and sentenced to death by electrocution.
The day of his execution came up, and he was asked what he would like
for his last meal. He asked for a banana. They gave it to him, he ate
it, received his last rites, and was escorted to the chair. The
executioner strapped him in, hooked everything up. Last, he threw the
BIG switch once, and NOTHING HAPPENED. So, he did it again, and
NOTHING HAPPENED. Well, by law the conductor was legally dead, so
they had to release him.
Oddly enough, the guy got a job on another railroad, as a conductor!
One day, he was gathering tickets, and came to a booth with a little
boy. "Young man, do you have your ticket?", asked the conductor.
"A-a-a, I'm sorry, I ate it by mistake..", said the little boy.
And.. the same thing happened-- the boy was thrown off the train and
killed. The guy was arrested, sentenced to death by electrocution. It
came to him last day. The death row guard asked him what he would like
for his meal. He asked for banana again. He ate it, and a priest gave
him last rites.
He was escorted to the death chamber. This time, though, they where
smart. They washed his hands to get rid of any banana slime, they
washed up the chair. Next, they placed him the chair, and hooked him
up. The switch-puller pulled the switch once, and NOTHING HAPPENED.
The switch-puller pulled the switch twice, and NOTHING HAPPENED, not
even a single hair raising on the guy's chest.
Well, as the law says, they had to let him go...
Even more amazingly, he got a job on yet another railroad.
This time it was a rabbi. Same old stuff. Rabbi had no ticket (he
forgot to buy it). Guy threw him off the train, rabbi died. Guy was
arrested, convicted, sentenced to death by electrocution. When the
guard asked him what he would like for a last meal, he asked for a
banana. He ate it, received last rights, and was escorted to the
chamber.
However, this time the officials where going to get it RIGHT! They
scrubbed his body with s brillo pad. They scrubbed the chair with
steel wool. They tried the chair on a few other prisoners...
Okay, they strapped him in, and threw the switch once, NOTHING
HAPPENED. Threw the switch a second time, NOTHING HAPPENED. At this
point the guy was legally dead, etc, etc. But, before the guy could
leave, the executioner, extremely frustrated (he'd seen this same guy
THREE TIMES already). asked, "What is it with the banana!"
The guy replied, "I just like bananas."
So, the executioner SCREAMED, "THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T DIE!!!!!"
"I dunno," replied the guy, "I guess I'm just not a very good conductor."
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